Limerick Day 2008

A selection of today's emails:

There was a man from Accrington Stanley,
To which all the girls took a fancy,
His appearance was striking,
While cross-country cycling,
The perfect embodiment of manly.

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Though Dave Milledge amended it

There was a lad from ‘crington Stanley
Whose hero was the Gordon Manley,
His research in the sun
He considered quite fun
And his Spanish progressed just grandley

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And because that was so rubbish:

There was a work-obsessed student called Milledge,
The only gay in the village,
He loved all geography
Except for his Ph.D.
He’s still working on the ti-tle page

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Gareth voiced his disapproval at our rhymes

There were two boys quite lyrical
And they liked their geography physical
They exchanged the odd ditty
But the poems were sh!tty
And their twisting of words was abysmical

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And then there was James Bridges:

There was a man from Accrington Stanley,
Who did not understand plagiarism, quite sadly,
But whilst this all seems rather forlorn,
his cycling meant his thigh muscle was torn;
it was all to no avail as climate change was taking place,
and there were floods on the track of the cycle race.

followed by

Ah, we need to get this back to five sentences quick,
Otherwise the format is not quite as slick,
So whilst this innovation may be progressive,
It can also be detrimental to the rhythm suggested,
Moreover, it might also get on ones wick.

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We need to speak to James about Limericks. And maybe Tasha could do with some help

There were a collection of rhymes so shocking
That they really required some mocking
However, to avoid doing some work
As after cycling my muscles so hurt
I came up with a line that also needed a little scoffing

Apologies

I haven't written anything for a month. I just wrote a long and very clever apology and sodding blogger buggered up and deleted it.

To summarise, I have been at least partially observing the days, despite not writing about it. Today, I am not wearing any socks.

Mark

No Housework Day 2008

A tough one: but I managed to follow it to the letter. There was a small disagreement in my house as to whether washing-up counted as housework (it does).

Tell a Lie Day 2008

I've convinced one of the Lab Technicians at work that a friend of mine is an ex semi-professional indoor unicyclist. I wasn't even disguising the fact that it was clearly a complete lie. It's amazing what people believe. Should be interesting when we all cycle the coast 2 coast next month. Brian mate: looks like you'd better get practicing.

Fat Wednesday

The radio has just informed me that today is Fat Wednesday. Something to do with everyone having given up new years diets and not yet starting summer hols diets. So...it appears it is a day to eat lots and lots and not care!

Flying Penguins Day 2008

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/page/item/epeng001.shtml

Amazing

A brief history of the pencil, by Chris Buckley

Interestingly it is not only the good people of "Project 2008" who noticed the day of celebration of the humble pencil. As I sat down to peruse the Sunday papers yesterday I noticed a column by the literary tour de force that is Sandy Toksvig, in which she discussed the history, cultural impact and dark side of the graphite and lead based writing instrument. Anyway, I digress:

Hymen L. Lipman is credited with registering the first patent for a pencil with an attached eraser on March 30th, 1858. (US Patent 19783)

In 1862 Lipman sold his patent to a Jospeph Reckendorfer for $100,000, who went to sue the pencil manufacturer Faber for infringement ^[1]. In 1875 the Supreme Court of the United States ruled against Reckendorfer declaring the patent invalid because his invention was actually a combination of two already known things with no new use^[2].

1. Petroski, Henry (1990). The Pencil: A History of Design and Circumstance. New York: Alfred A. Knopf. ISBN 0-394-57422-2; ISBN 0-679-73415-5, page 171

2. ^ http://supreme.justia.com/us/92/347/case.html Reckendorfer v. Faber 92 U.S. 347 (1875)

Pencil Day 2008

These Carbon 3-leaf marking essay feedback sheets don't like pencils at all.

Odd Socks Day 2008

I've been a bit rubbish lately. I completely forgot to wear odd socks today. Fortunately, I had packed a spare pair and taken them to work. Unfortunately, they were running socks and smelt a bit. Adds to the office environment.

Not my feet, but in case you wanted to know what odd socks look like:

Today is also Kite Flying Day. I'm afraid, despite the windy weather of late, it simply isn't windy enough for kites today. Top excuse.

STATA Day

Happy STATA Day everybody!

World Meterological Day

What funny weather we're having.
Actually, I thought Weather Day was yesterday. Told everybody about it during the heavy snow interspersed with gorgeous sunshine. Then I was amazed to see The Day After Tomorrow on telly - not many weather-based action thrillers about. But even that was a day out (both ways). I'm confused.

Still, the weather was proper daft today. I celebrated it by staying indoors. Though I did go for a walk over the snow covered hills.

Also: it's EASTER SUNDAY which means LENT ENDS. Congratulations all ZERO people who managed it properly. You all disgust me.

World Water Day

To celebrate World Water Day I loaded up my car with kayaks and headed up Weardale in search of hidden becks and waterfalls in the hope that the recent chossy weather would have filled them up suitably to enjoy some kayaking on them.

This was not the case, there was a distinct emptiness in the various tribs we scouted out and so there was to be no paddling. And then it started to snow. To round the day off in style we had a snickers from a shop in Wolsingham and then came home.

Hamsterly forest car park, wrong kind of water for kayaking

Happy Easter everyone

True Confessions Day

It had been playing on my mind for a while so I took the opportunity to come clean and share my secret. I admitted to James that whilst at home (in our food devoid house) a couple of weeks ago, I gave in to temptation and consumed a small handful of wheetos - those chocolaty little morsels that James eats for breakfast every morning!! It is debatable whether they even contain chocolate but I feel like I have cheated lent and broken my chocolate abstinence. But unlike many others who have fallen by the wayside, I have come back from this breakdown in will-power stronger and still survive without chocolate and crisps in my diet - replaced by cereal bars and bread sticks! Please forgive my confession!

Pi Day

Two events dominated Pi Day. James seems to have challenged his class to memorise Pi to as many decimal places as possible (winner gets a pie). Here, we aimed to draw the perfect circle. Mine were universally appalling. I don't make crop circles, but if I did, they would pobably be the worst crop circles in the world. Emma's attempts were pretty rubbish; but she numbered them and circled her numbers - one of these cirvles was as perfect as any I saw all day.

Sad.

Commonwealth Day

Basically, I drank tea. And lots of it.

National Doodle Day/ Middle Name Pride day

Some very strange doodles appeared on paper today. A giant flamingo climbing a mountain? A lion reflected in a matrix? Some very abstract shapes, and I think Dave was channeling god. I still intend to scan them.

Anyway, just as amusing was Emma's middle name - Pearl. Like it. After today, I now think middle names are great.

Will

Frozen Food Day

This day was perfectly timed for a day when our house contained no fresh food at all! As such, I set about cooking a delicious meal made almost entirely out of frozen food. This included - frozen sausages left over from last summers bbq season, veggie bean burgers (which kind of acted as our carbs), frozen peas, sweetcorn and soya beans which I turned into a delicious salsa with some tinned toms, garlic and a variety of herbs and spices!

And the fun didn't end here. For pudding, James opted for the frozen Maltesar bake (thanks mummy) which we heated to a gooey loveliness with ice cream, whilst I went for the frozen raspberries which I turned into a sumptuous coulis with some maple syrup. I served this over the ice cream!

What a wonderful and fairly healthy/nutritious meal to come from our freezer!

Learn What Your Name Means Day 2008

Mark - Familiar form of Marcus: Roman, probably derived from the name of the Roman god MARS. Mars is possibly related to Latin mas "male" (genitive maris).

Smith is the most common family name in the United Kingdom and the United States representing more than 1 out of every 100 persons in each of these countries. The name originally derives from smitan, the Anglo-Saxon term meaning to smite or strike.

Well that explains "Rhino" at least.

Apparently a dedicated schoolgirl collected the meanings of all the names in the class. Ah. Although the teacher did try to tell one kid that his name means "Homosexual".

Grammar Day 2008

Rubbish day. Even the schoolkids boycotted this one. I thought about correcting the grammar of some graffiti I saw in the toilets - has it really come to this?

Mothering Sunday/Namesake Day

Disaster.

All I can say is: I got cocky. So early was I with Mother's Day this year, that I posted the card on wednesday with a second class stamp. It didn't arrive on time. I'm not in the best books.

This being Namesake Day too, I researched my mum's namesakes. Angela Smith is an MP for Basildon.

I am a man of many namesakes. I must have one of the single most popular names in the UK. There is even a Wikipaedia page devoted to listing famous Mark Smith's. There is of course Mark E. Smith of The Fall, but more randomly, Mark Smith was the real name of Rhino from Gladiators. It's remarkable that we should share the same name, as we are so remarkably similar in appearance too.

Worshie, my research suggests that you don't have a single namesake.

St. David's Day/Beer Day

This day boiled down to beer, leeks, daffodils and (I suppose) sheep. In fact the leeks themselves boiled down into soup. Roll on the stereotypes.

I didn't actually buy any doffodils, but I admired some - until some chavs went and picked them (Mother's Day tomorrow so we'll let them off).

I got involved with the beer though.

Leap Day 2008

The calendar should really be ashamed of this day. It's the ugly side-effect of the Earth's trip around the sun not dividing perfectly into 365. But instead, it's a celebration. Curiously, it's now dedicated as the only day where women can ask men to marry them. Much has been made of this on TV, however, I waited all day. I think my phone was having reception difficulties.

Just 4 years until the next one...

Floral Design Day 2008

My original intentions to wear something flowery today were scuppered by my lack of flower-wear (flowear?). If I had've found some flowery socks I would be wearing them now. I was teaching on a "helpdesk" this morning. This equates to sitting at my desk, messing around because nobody turns up. So I designed the flower arrangement above, although Blogger appears to dislike my choice of colour and has changed it for me (blue sunflowers?). The saddest thing of all this is that a group of students did arrive, just as I was putting together the finishing touches. I wonder what they think of me...

International Polar Bear Day

A few facts about Polar Bears:

Polar bears are not white! Their skin is black and their fur is translucent. They appear white due to light being refracted through the clear strands.
The polar bear has an odd liking for toothpaste – they have been known to raid Arctic tourist camps, knocking over tents and trampling equipment just to suck a tube of Colgate dry.
On the remote chance of someone offering you a slice of polar bear’s liver, do not accept! A pound of polar bear liver contains enough vitamin A to kill you – a smaller dose will lead to headaches, blurred vision, loss of hair, drowsiness, diarrhoea and enlargement of the spleen and liver.

Pistachio Day 2008

I have a large pack of nuts sitting beside me on my desk (next to the raisins with whom I have fallen out). I have been munching my way through their creamy nutty deliciousness all day. It was an unusual snack to bring to coffee, but nobody commented. ultimately, they were satisfying and popular. Reports of chilli-pistachios have circulated, but none of the spicy ones made their way over to me.

The day did trigger a discussion of availability of Pistachio ice cream. Despite it's near universal popularity, it is very difficult (impossible as some have hypothesised) to buy the stuff. Fortunately I found a website with a recipe for making it yourself, but a brief browse of the pictures suggests that it is sh*te.

Pistachio Fact: iran is the world's largest exporter of Pistachios.